The rewards

It is no secret, that anyone who decides to teach is not in the profession for the pay. For teacher, the rewards are not monetary, but still they are heavy in worth.

This semester has been trying for me. After spending 500+ hours gaining experience in the classroom, I have confidence in my ability and my knowledge to teach. At times during this semester, I step back and have to laugh that I am full time teaching, including all of the responsibilities but instead of getting paid for my hard work, I am paying to do it all. Paying for the late nights spent planning, paying for the late evenings preparing materials and the classroom. I found myself getting caught up in the notion that "I'm doing this for free as part of my education, even though I feel like I'm ready to do it 'for real'".

Tonight, at parent teacher conferences, I realized I'm not doing this for free. I'm still getting the rewards of teaching, and that is worth all the late nights, all the stress of juggling school, full time teaching, and a part time job. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if I've done enough? Do I deserve it all?

Earlier this week, out of no where a little girl pipes up with, "I love you Miss Emily." Every single day, I get more hugs than I can count. Every afternoon, someone has written me a piece of mail and placed it in the mailbox for me to find. Last week, I had two parents thank me for something I had done for their child.
A child who at the beginning of the school year, couldn't get through a single day of school to the point where he would sleep it away and who wouldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't play, would do nothing ... well, today he went to a workstation, did the work, and lined up IN LINE AMONG HIS PEERS.

Another student, who at the beginning of the year, could not listen, could not share, and struggled with learning and engaging in the routine - became engaged in the workstation, was determined in his play, ENCOURAGED HIS PEERS TO MAKE A PLAN, sat a circle like a perfect student, and SHARED THE BALLS with others. Being able to reflect on his accomplishments and his growth with his mother at parent teacher conferences really hit home for me. It was the eye-opener, the refresher I needed - the reminder of why I do, what I do. Seeing his mom bask in his accomplishments, become emotional when talking of his growth, and share the wonderful things she's been seeing, was worth more than any pay check - especially when knowing I shared a part in all of this.

To many, these occurrences I write of, may sound petty - some may laugh and say, "so what if the kid lined up", "so what if the kid shared the ball" ... and to them, I would say - you just don't understand. You don't understand the hard work and the deliberate and purposeful planning and conversations that have occurred about and around the students to get them to that point.  You don't understand what these children are coming from and you surely don't understand how large of an accomplishment these "petty things" are, and you certainly don't understand that that one child lining up among his peers deserved a celebration today. Because, you simply don't understand these children like I do.

Reflecting on the accomplishments on the growth of the children over the course of these two months is amazing. I can only imagine where they will be at the end of this semester, let alone the end of the year. I don't know what it was about this week - but I saw so much growth that has rekindled my fire - my need to continue to grow myself in order to continue to challenge and better these students, every single one of them. It was as if this week was a sign - coming to me, when I needed it and serving as a reminder of what really matters, the students.

I'm still in awe of the week that we had. The minor daily occurrences that were HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENTS for individuals - the satisfactions of knowing that what we are doing, IS working. You just can't get any better than that.